I found this “Twelve Days of Christmas’ incentive comp version on hereisthecity.com.
On the first day of Christmas,
my big boss said I’m key
So he’s got a good bonus for me.
On the second day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Two regulators a-probing,
But there’s still a good bonus for me.
On the third day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
And there’s still a decent bonus for me.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
And there’s still a decent bonus for me.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
So there’s no large bonus for me
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
So there’s no large bonus for me.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Seven clients a-suing,
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
So there’s no large bonus for me.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Eight hedge funds a-failing,
Seven clients a-suing,
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
Now there’s only a small bonus for me.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Nine executives have been fired,
Eight hedge funds a-failing,
Seven clients a-suing,
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
Now there’s only a small bonus for me.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Ten thousand lay-offs,
Nine executives have been fired,
Eight hedge funds a-failing,
Seven clients a-suing,
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
Now there’s hardly any bonus for me.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Eleven billions in write-downs,
Ten thousand lay-offs,
Nine executives have been fired,
Eight hedge funds a-failing,
Seven clients a-suing,
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
Now there’s hardly any bonus for me.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my big boss said to me
Twelve weeks of losses
Eleven billions in write-downs,
Ten thousand lay-offs,
Nine executives have been fired,
Eight hedge funds a-failing,
Seven clients a-suing,
Six bosses are a-praying,
Five Goldman stings,
Four banks are imploding,
Three CEOs a-resigning,
Two regulators a-probing,
Now there’s no bl..dy bonus for me!
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Yesterday, a friend was laughing at me because I was eating my pizza with a fork and a knife. For the record, I usually only use them when my pizza is too hot to hold with my bare hands. We started to talk about pizza eating habits, and she started talking about a person she knows who eats pizza with chopsticks.
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